In letting go of the myriad pressures I felt with my first child, I have discovered myself having fun with motherhood greater than I might have ever imagined.
Like so many first-time mothers, my first yr postpartum was nearly fully centered on caring for my new baby, day and evening. And whereas I loved many points of motherhood with one little one, when I turned pregnant with my second, I knew there have been things I not solely needed to do in another way, but additionally really regarded ahead to altering.
Here are 10 things I did with my first that I stopped with my second.
1. Cute baby outfits
When I came upon I was pregnant with my first, I rushed out and purchased a pair of rainbow overalls with matching shirt and socks, imagining how lovable the baby would look. Fast ahead to really having it on the baby, I rapidly realized that almost all usually, the cuter the outfit, the extra sophisticated it’s to take off. When you’re altering as much as ten diapers a day, it’s sufficient to make you swear off something however sleepers for the remainder of your time as a mother of infants. For baby No. 2, I nixed shirts, pants, socks and all different “cute baby outfits.” He at the moment spends 99.9% of his time in straightforward two-way zippered sleepers.
2. Daily bathtub time
Just earlier than having my first, I learn {that a} bedtime routine that features a bathtub helps promote sleep. And whereas a predictable routine does assist to launch melatonin, I took this advice to the subsequent degree and by no means let my first miss a shower. Truly, he was bathed on daily basis from the day he was born till he missed his first bathtub at 22 months outdated as a result of our water line breaking. With my second, I acknowledge that having a bedtime routine is useful, nevertheless it doesn’t at all times want to incorporate a shower. With my two kids, I am a lot extra versatile with bathtub time and frankly, it usually merely is determined by how drained I am.
3. Strict nap routine
In hopes of enhancing his sleep, I employed a strict naptime routine with my first. I adopted an app and timer and made certain he at all times had not less than two naps a day in his crib. And whereas naps are definitely linked to nighttime sleep, I have fully let go of this rigidity with my second. Firstly, a strict nap schedule is sort of not possible with daycare decide and drop-off, and extra importantly, being freed from “nap jail” has been important for my psychological well being by permitting me to exit for actions and spend time with associates. With this flexibility, my second has additionally tailored to sleeping anyplace and in all places: the provider, crib, stroller, practice, boat and every thing in between.
4. Sanitizing every thing
Sanitizing all baby gadgets, together with pacifiers, toys, and bottles, was on my each day to-do record with my first. I received so used to sanitizing every thing that I even as soon as by chance melted a teething toy within the microwave. With my second, whereas I do my finest to hold things clear, sanitizing on daily basis for a baby who commonly finds and chews on our canine’s toys has gone down so much on my record of priorities.
5. Spending all my time with the baby
Who wants “me time” when I love this little bundle of pleasure a lot? Umm… seems nearly each guardian on the market. Early on, I didn’t really feel the necessity for time away from the baby and fortunately introduced him in all places with me. Truthfully, I additionally didn’t really feel snug leaving him with anybody else. In distinction, with my second, I acknowledge the significance of taking time away from my function as a mom to rediscover my identification exterior of being a mother. I discover I am a greater mother to my kids when I have had time to recharge my batteries.
6. Breastfeeding in public
Any exercise with my first revolved round determining if our vacation spot had personal nursing stations, because the stares from strangers actually received to me. But this time round, I couldn’t care much less about what strangers suppose once they see me breastfeeding in public and I breastfeed anyplace and in all places. I as soon as breastfeed on the zoo whereas watching the mom gorilla breastfeed her baby and I swear we momentarily made eye contact, like, “Look at us, we got this, girlfriend!”
7. Tracking milestones
I obsessively tracked my first baby’s milestones. Rolling? Check. Sitting up unassisted? Check. Crawling? Nope. I spent hours, day and evening, harassed about why my little one was “behind.” The second time round, I know a lot better that milestones usually are not set timelines, however versatile pointers. Frankly, I have forgotten what the milestones are this time round and depend on my physician to remind me at our routine appointments. It’s an enormous reduction to have the ability to let go of one thing that’s fully out of my management.
8. Comparing to associates’ infants
Having kids with associates the identical age generally is a large blessing, however it could actually additionally open up a floodgate of fixed comparability for a lot of new mothers. With my first, I discovered it difficult to select him up from daycare and hear different kids speak up a storm whereas I would ask him how his day went and he would reply with, “poop face”. With my second, I strongly consider that comparability really is the thief of pleasure and acknowledge that we’re elevating kids, not robots, and every little one will thrive in their very own time.
9. Comparing to associates as parents
On the topic of comparability, many first-time mothers additionally discover themselves evaluating not solely their youngsters, however themselves as a guardian. With my first, I usually discovered myself evaluating my parenting expertise (or lack thereof, in my thoughts) to others. There have been mothers that simply appeared extra pure of their function, whereas I discovered myself as a bit extra of the “Wednesday Adams” of mothers, singing my baby to sleep to November Rain. Thankfully, with my second, whereas I am no June Cleaver or Carol Brady, I love and respect who I am as a mom and know that I am precisely who my boys want me to be.
10. Relying closely on social media
While I love social media, being a mother blogger myself on Instagram (@mama.poule), with my first, I learn social media pages and blogs as in the event that they have been peer-reviewed literature. I would scour completely different pages to study the ins and outs of sleep, feeding, milestones, parenting and every thing in between. And whereas social media affords a wealth of helpful data, it could actually additionally make you query every thing you’re doing and lead you to overthink things that really usually are not worthwhile. With two kids, I am now extra cautious and conscious of what I learn on social media, viewing it solely as a spot for pleasure, and rely totally on my intestine relating to things with my baby.
I have discovered many things since having my second little one, however weaved into every of those 10 things I did in another way is the best lesson I have discovered to this point: to have extra religion and appreciation for myself as a mom. In letting go of societal expectations and strain, strict schedules and routines, and comparability, I have discovered myself having fun with motherhood greater than I might have ever imagined.
