Is Your Child Being Bullied? The Signs and Prevention Plan

Our kids will inevitably face injustices of their lifetimes. But no baby has to silently endure via something that causes hurt. 

Bullying, particularly, can wreak havoc on kids’s lives. In worst-case eventualities, it could actually even result in a wide range of harmful behaviors, together with suicide. 

But what precisely can we, as parents, do to assist our kids keep away from this pointless trauma?

My reply is easy. Keep imparting essential life classes whereas additionally giving them the arrogance and encouragement to face bullying head-on. 

To begin, I encourage you to request our FREE and complete checklist of Encouraging Words. It is a superb basis for reinforcing the empathetic and resilient traits you need to foster in your kids.

Then, concentrate on bullying prevention! It’s a method that mentally prepares kids for an imperfect world and equips them with the instruments wanted to struggle it. 

It all begins with data. 

Types of Bullying

Not all bullying is equal, and lots of definitions overlap. Bullying can even fall beneath one class or embody a number of classes directly.

Identifying these totally different frameworks helps put together you and your kids for the various bullying eventualities they could encounter. 

Before we bounce into methods to stop it, let’s check out the several types of bullying that exist…

According to STOMP Out Bullying, Thriveworks Counseling & Coaching, and StopBullying.gov, classes embody:

Physical

Getting shoved up in opposition to a locker. Kicked within the leg. Pinched. 

Physical bullying doesn’t should be violent. It consists of any undesirable bodily contact. 

Verbal

Calling somebody a nasty title, making them really feel insufficient, and hurtful teasing.

Thriveworks states, “Verbal abusers use language to hurt another person; this might involve speaking aggressively or violently, or it could mean not saying a single word.” It can even “include withholding, countering, and discounting.”

Emotional 

Thriveworks defines emotional abuse as the usage of “…hurtful ways which can be rooted in a single’s feelings to govern and mistreat the sufferer…

…Just a few frequent types of emotional abuse embody criticism, humiliation, and management.”

Relational/Social

Intentionally leaving somebody out of a gaggle invitation. Spreading rumors about somebody you don’t like. Ruining a popularity. 

Prejudicial

Harassing somebody for being dissimilar: non secular choice, LGBTQ, or a bodily or psychological distinction are all frequent examples.

Cyber

This consists of slander on social media, sending inappropriate pictures, or purposely excluding somebody from an internet invite. 

It’s essential to talk to kids concerning the risks of cyberbullying earlier than permitting them entry to smartphones and social media. 

Sexual

Harassment of any type of sexual nature, together with vulgar feedback or gestures, name-calling, or undesirable, sexually-focused bodily touching.

Where Do We Draw the Line?

Now that we perceive the several types of bullying, it’s possible you’ll be questioning, “But how do I know when playful banter crosses the line?”

Good query.

Some kids are extra delicate than others. And nobody can deny that laughing off foolish jokes and taking issues much less personally could be good qualities.

Maybe your older daughter had a horrible day. Out of frustration–and out of character–she referred to as her little brother silly. Or, in school, your 6-year-old boy likes to chase after a lady he likes. 

Perhaps the boys in your teenage son’s peer group wish to jokingly give one another a very exhausting time.

Are these eventualities all frequent circumstances of bullying? It relies upon…

A normal rule of thumb is that bullying consists of 1, two, or all three of the next components: persistence (it’s occurred greater than as soon as or usually), energy imbalances, and/or bodily and verbal intimidation.

So, no, not all the pieces that hurts your kids is taken into account bullying. Still, it’s essential to inform kids to talk up if one thing bothers them–whether or not they’re not sure it constitutes bullying or not. This may help maintain something that bothers them from escalating into true bullying, and it teaches emotional recognition and battle decision. 

Let’s speak about the way to just do that…

Bullying Prevention and Solutions

Awareness and coaching work to attenuate bullying’s most dangerous impacts, and it is sensible why–getting forward of issues could be one of the best ways to fight them. 

Focus on Open Communication

Ideally, gathering data from our kids is pure and simple. We need them to speak in confidence to us–particularly when one thing is hurting them and probably harmful. 

But as our kids get older, and relying on their personalities, conversations aren’t all the time a two-way road.

If you’re feeling a have to enhance the communication between you and your kids, begin with a number of easy methods:

Increase Mind, Body, and Soul Time 

Mind, Body, and Soul Time is an extremely highly effective instrument that we rave about right here at Positive Parenting Solutions. 

Every day, if you spend 10-Quarter-hour of distraction-free, one-on-one time with every of your kids, you might be constructing a basis of belief and improved communication. 

Its results can’t be overstated. Mind, Body, and Soul Time helps with kids’ habits and strengthens the bond between guardian and baby in a method that may’t be replicated. 

Limit Overreactions

When a baby approaches us about bullying, it’s simple to have a powerful response. We’re usually upset–even indignant–and keen to resolve the issue instantly. 

Your son may be attempting to make associates at a brand new college. He confides that one among these new “friends” likes to select on him lots. When you subsequently–and fervently–speak about contacting the other boy’s mother and the varsity board, your son grows cautious and shrinks into the nook. He needs assist, however he doesn’t need to trigger a giant scene. 

Or, possibly your daughter was abnormally aggressive and pushed a lady who made enjoyable of her garments. Your daughter was bullied right into a nook, and now she’s being bullied much more. But she’s additionally ashamed of her half within the scenario and fearful about your disapproval if she tells you the entire story.

When we fail to stay calm when kids come to us with issues and considerations, it creates further stress for our kids. They might develop hesitant bringing issues to our consideration subsequent time. 

Even after we get entangled in one thing unrelated to bullying–like inflicting a fuss when your daughter tells you her coach retains her on the sidelines–she’s going to most likely assume you’ll additionally overreact about bullying. 

The method we react to all occasions and points can set the stage for extra open communication. 

If our kids do play an element in bullying, it’s essential to concentrate on communication fairly than self-discipline–particularly if we wish them to speak in confidence to us sooner or later. Disciplining our kids for confiding in us, no matter fault, could be counterproductive and shut invaluable communication channels. We can promise they may by no means be in hassle for reporting bullying–even when they’re part of the issue.

Be Open About Your Own Feelings and Experiences

The extra we categorical our personal emotions, the extra our kids will do the identical. 

Whether speaking about your individual troublesome experiences as a baby or sharing present struggles, you’re exhibiting {that a} big selection of emotions could be regular. It additionally reveals your capability for understanding and empathy ought to they bring about their points to you. 

But as soon as the communication strains are open, then what? 

Now it’s time to show our kids the way to reply in-the-heat-of-the bullying second…

Teach Kids to Stand Up to Bullying

What could be extra empowering than instructing kids to face up for themselves? 

Empowerment is a big a part of optimistic parenting–and it’s simply as vital when combating in opposition to bullying. 

We already know the assorted forms of bullying that may happen. We additionally know it’s persistent, associated to an influence imbalance, and comprises doctor and/or verbal intimidation. But do our kids?

Kidpower International teaches kids and adults of all ages to acknowledge these indicators earlier than they even encounter bullying. Then, they arm them with important, anti-bullying methods. 

One of these indispensable expertise is instructing kids to communicate up. And this isn’t simply hypothetical. The intention is to equip kids with precise phrases and phrases once they really feel bullied or threatened. 

For instance, kids are inspired to seek out an grownup and calmly however urgently say, “Excuse me, I have a safety problem.” 

This is an easy but efficient method to get a busy grownup’s consideration by elevating fast alarm.

It’s additionally essential to acknowledge that many kids are immune to searching for assist. Partly as a result of we’ve unknowingly skilled them to hunt options on their very own. Think about it: we regularly grow to be aggravated when kids complain about foolish, inconsequential points. But they will interpret that as a plea by no means to be bothered. 

Kids additionally concern doable overreactions and retribution from parents and aggressors for tattling. 

Knowing this, we should train kids to carry bullying to our consideration with persistence and urgency. This consists of explaining issues of safety and the distinction between tattling and informing.

“The safety of our kids and well being of our kids are worth causing anyone embarrassment, inconvenience, or offense.” – Ellen Bass, Co-Author of The Courage to Heal and Kidpower Founding Board President

Teaching kids to face as much as bullying additionally consists of stepping in as bystanders. Kids don’t should be instantly bullied to be affected by its negativity, nor to report it and put a cease to it.

Take Time for Scenario Training

Bullying preparation isn’t that efficient if we simply speak about it. Kids would possibly neglect particulars or fail to understand the technique for varied conditions.

Plus, if we’re presenting issues with out additionally presenting options, our warnings solely serve to boost kids’ anxieties.

We have the identical idea at Positive Parenting Solutions. Our Take Time for Training instrument reminds parents to embrace and encourage rehearsal. 

Whether it’s watering flowers, turning the oven off, or standing as much as combativeness, kids studying one thing for the primary time want–and deserve–an opportunity to apply that talent.

Bullying coaching can even occur routinely. Anything is simpler if you happen to cowl it greater than as soon as. And though it serves a sensible function, it may be approached in a enjoyable, lighthearted method. (Otherwise, it could be a dreaded process!)

At house or wherever you might have downtime, you possibly can stroll via varied bullying eventualities. Ask kids to take turns being the bully/bullied. 

They can even apply grabbing your consideration (“Excuse me, I have a safety problem”), and then swap roles whilst you play the anxious, troubled child, and they play the busy grownup. This two-way role-play could be doubly efficient. 

Scenario coaching can embody the way to deal with phrases that damage, too. Instead of letting imply phrases fester, for instance, Kidpower encourages us to show our kids the way to use the “Trash Can Power” by throwing away these hurtful phrases in an imaginary trash can. Rather than ignoring bullying or struggling via it, this instrument acknowledges unfavourable intentions and instantly discards them.

So, Is Your Child Being Bullied? Here Are Some Signs. 

It’s not all the time apparent when your baby is being bullied. Some kids don’t need to report it and internalize it as an alternative. But, in accordance with Stopbullying.gov, the next signs may be an indication of hassle.